To Find Again
by 6jrz422
Summary: AU Two children lost their youth, does that mean they will lose their future? Formerly Together. Squinoa
1. All of My Life

All of My Life

Updated: 2009.11.01

Summary: AU Rinoa and Squall have seen some hardships in their lives. Those hardships are what made them the people they are today. Can the two overcome one more hurtle to get a happy ending? My pointless and potentially never ending story. Songs end every chapter, feel free to leave ideas for future chapters and future songs.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

* * *

All of My Life

All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

–Lenny Kravitz

* * *

"Squall!"

The little girl flew through the flower field, black hair flowing behind her.

"Squall!"

She looked around the deserted field. Where was he? They had met each other every day for the past two years here. Why wasn't he here?

"Squall!"

The girl's large brown eyes began to tear up. Where was her playmate? Her mother took time out of her busy schedule to bring her here for one reason; to have fun, and she wasn't going to disappoint.

"Squall! Where are you?"

She ran to the edge near the forest, she swore she saw movement. As she neared the edge she noticed her friend, leaning against a tree trunk.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

Squall looked up at his energetic playmate.

"Rinoa…"

The little girl cut him off as she closed the gap between them with a giant leap, almost landing atop of the boy.

"What are you waiting for? Come on! We're going to have so much fun!"

Squall didn't budge.

"Rinoa…"

Rinoa grabbed the little boy's hand and tugged back towards the flower field. Why wasn't Squall coming already?

"Come on! Your mom made cookies! I thought she only did that on our birthdays!"

The boy still didn't move, he merely lowered his head, unable to look at the happy girl anymore.

"Rinoa…"

Rinoa looked at him before tugging more forcefully.

"Come on! You're my playmate! You have to come play with me!"

Squall didn't know how he was going to break it to her.

"Rinoa…"

Rinoa was getting impatient.

"Why aren't you excited to see me? Did your dad get mad because we threw his shirt in the river?"

Squall shook his head; he still didn't know how to tell her.

"Rinoa, I…"

Rinoa released Squall's hand and stuck her head underneath his gaze to look up at him.

"Good cause, my dad got so mad at me when we poured his tea in his soup last week!" Rinoa paused for a second then tapped Squall on his chest. "You're it!" The bubbly girl took off running in the opposite direction.

Squall sighed. Maybe his parent's could break it to her.

* * *

"Why hello there Rinoa! You look quite energetic today."

The kind lady looked down at the brown haired girl with a broad smile.

Rinoa bobbed her head up and down.

"Mommy said you made me cookies?"

The lady took a baking sheet out of the oven and placed it on the counter to cool off.

"Well of course, Rinoa. Did you find Squall?"

Rinoa nodded vigorously, "He's it! He couldn't catch me! I'm fast!"

"Oh I'm sure you're a speedster." The lady smiled even more while she handed Rinoa the first cookie cool enough to eat.

Rinoa took it with a smile, "Thank you Mrs. Loire!" Rinoa might have been quite spoiled and demanding, but her mother would seriously reprimand her if she forgot to say thank you.

Rinoa quietly munched on her cookie, chocolate chip, her favorite. Once Rinoa finished Mrs. Loire held another one out to her. To her surprise, Rinoa shook her head.

"Daddy said I'll be a balloon if I eat too much. He said it's bad to be a balloon. Why's it bad to be a balloon? I like blue ones!"

Despite Mrs. Loire's disapproval of Rinoa's father already placing social pressures upon his daughter, she couldn't help but laugh at Rinoa's childish curiosity.

"There's nothing wrong with balloons, your father just doesn't want you to have problems later in life."

Rinoa didn't seem to understand. "Oh, but Dr. Odine says I'm a big strong girl! I can beat up Squall!" Rinoa beamed.

Mrs. Loire broke out into laughter. Her son and Rinoa had been playing with each other for a couple years now. The two grew so close after the very first meeting. She couldn't remember a single real fight the two ever had. They preferred playing pranks on their respective fathers. Rinoa's being so strict, and Squall's being so easy. The two sometimes play fought; Squall never fought back. Mrs. Loire sometimes wondered if Rinoa's parents knew how much of a tomboy their daughter was.

The door opened as Squall finally caught up, apparently he hadn't chased after Rinoa at all.

"Eek!" Rinoa shrieked. "I'm not it!" She jumped up and ran to the opposite side of the kitchen table.

Squall didn't chase her.

"Squall, would you like a cookie?" Mrs. Loire held out a cookie for Squall to take.

"Okay." Squall took the cookie and walked over to Rinoa. "You want?"

Rinoa looked at it. Her father did tell her not to be a balloon. Of course he also told her not to be a baboon, Rinoa wasn't really sure what that was. Of course, this was a gift from her 'bestest friend in the whole wide world.' She couldn't refuse. Rinoa accepted the cookie from Squall. "Thank you Squall!"

Rinoa couldn't help stealing glances at her friend in between bites. Squall didn't take another cookie for himself. Rinoa thought he seemed sad.

Mrs. Loire glanced at her son. So he hadn't told her yet.

"Rinoa, I'm going to pack some cookies in a bag for you to take home with you. Give some to your mother and father."

Rinoa looked up at Squall's mother confused. "But I'm coming back here tomorrow."

Mrs. Loire frowned for an instant, he definitely hadn't broken the news to her yet.

"Squall…"

The little boy looked up into his mother's face. Pain was written all over it. Squall was never really good at hiding his emotions. Rinoa used to pick on him all the time because of it.

"I know. Rinoa…"

The door flew open again.

"Hey everyone! Is that cookies? For me?" Mr. Loire bounded into the kitchen and snatched up a few cookies, stuffing them all into his mouth at once. "Mmmm! Tas good Raine!"

Raine walked over to push her husband away from the baked goods. "Laguna! These are for the Caraways. You know they don't have time to bake, I thought it would be a nice present."

Laguna looked at his wife then at the two little children sitting at the table staring at him. "Oh… er… well… I'll just go… do… something…" He then bolted from the room.

Rinoa burst out laughing. Mr. Loire was always so funny. She envied Squall so much. His father was so fun to watch, he always seemed to do something random and it never failed to bring a smile to her face. Even after her father's stern lectures and discipline methods.

Squall shook his head with a frown before he turned back to Rinoa to finish what he started.

"Rinoa…"

The little girl popped the last piece of her second cookie into her mouth. She was feeling the affects of the sugar now. She jumped out of her seat and ran to Squall's.

"What? You ready to go play?"

Squall shook his head and placed both his hands on the smaller girl's shoulders to keep her from bouncing around the kitchen.

"My parents are moving."

Squall removed his hands from Rinoa's shoulders. That wasn't so hard was it?

"Oh," Rinoa looked around the kitchen. "How are you going to take care of everything?" Her eyes widened with an idea, "Oh! I know! I'll help you take care of it! It'll be just like my dollhouse at home!"

Raine wasn't trying to eavesdrop on the two little kids but she couldn't help but feel relieved that Rinoa had a normal girl life as well as her tomboy side with Squall. Too bad she didn't understand what Squall was telling her.

Squall looked at his shoes. His arms now at his side, shoulders slumped.

"I'm not staying either Rinoa, We're all moving."

Rinoa's eyes widened even more than when her brilliant idea popped into her head.

"What? You can't leave! Who will I play with? You're my bestest friend! I'm your bestest friend! Bestest friends can't leave each other!"

Squall merely sank into a dinning chair.

The front door opened again, this time a gorgeous woman entered. Her voice sounded like wind chimes, delicate yet beautiful.

"Hello? Raine? Laguna? You in here?"

Raine quickly exited the kitchen to greet her friend.

"Julia! It's so good to see you!"

The two women embraced before walking to the kitchen.

"Has Rinoa been behaving?" Julia looked at Rinoa who was still staring at Squall with something like a look of horror on her face. "What's wrong Rinoa?"

The little girl looked up at her mother, brown eyes trembling as tears threatened to fall. "Squall's leaving me!" She finally managed to choke out. Rinoa ran to bury her face into her mother's pant leg.

"I know sweetie, the Loires need to move for Squall's daddy's job." Julie tried to comfort her now sobbing daughter.

"But he's my bestest friend! He can't leave me!" Rinoa sniffled. He couldn't leave her. He was HER playmate, nobody else's. Rinoa's crying stopped when she came up with another idea. "I know! Mommy! Buy him!"

Julia stared at her daughter. "Rinoa, Squall's not a toy at the store, he's not for sale."

Rinoa pouted up at her mother, "That's what that old man said about his collector's edition Barbie doll! You were able to buy it still!"

Julia looked uneasily at Raine who was holding back laughter. She turned back to her daughter, "Rinoa, this is different, Squall is a person, like you. He has a family that would dearly miss him if I took him away from them."

Rinoa looked like she was about to cry again but instead decided to try using her puppy dog eyes. "Then buy Squall's family too!"

Julia sighed, maybe it wasn't the wisest decision to buy Rinoa everything she wanted. Now the girl thought money could buy everything, or anyone. "Rinoa, that's just not going to happen. Tell you what; I'll take you to visit Squall sometimes. How does that sound?"

Rinoa nodded silently, she was still fuming that her puppy dog eyes hadn't worked. She thought she had mastered that tactic by the age of 2.

Julia turned towards Raine and Squall who had both taken seats at the dinning table, trying not to appear to be poking their noses in Julia and Rinoa's argument. "Sorry about that Raine."

"Oh don't worry about it Julia, Squall was just as angry when we told him yesterday." Raine looked at her son who was slouching farther into his seat. "Squall, sit up." The boy shot back up in his seat.

Julia turned back to her daughter. She bent down to wipe the remaining tears off her face. "Rinoa, go say goodbye to the Loires, we need to get back home for dinner. You know how your father is when we're late."

Rinoa nodded reluctantly. Why was she being punished by Squall's dad's job? Rinoa trudged over to Mrs. Loire. "Thank you for the cookies Mrs. Loire."

Raine smiled down at Rinoa as the girl turned to walk towards Squall.

Why wouldn't her mother buy Squall? She bought everything else she asked for. If Squall wanted to be with his parents then Rinoa was sure her mother could buy Squall's parents too. Rinoa looked at her 'bestest friend'. Fresh tears threatened to trickle from her large brown eyes. Rinoa threw her arms around the boy in a desperate hug. "Bye Squall. You'll always be my bestest friend in the whole wide world."

Rinoa didn't look up to see Squall also had tears in his blue eyes. Both mothers thought the moment was the cutest thing they had ever seen, if only they could stay like that forever.

* * *

Rinoa stared out of the backseat window as Squall stood with both his parents. Squall just stood there, not joining his parents waving at the retreating car.

'_All of my life  
Where have you been'_

Rinoa thought about the past two years with Squall. The fun times, the reckless times, the times her father wanted to kill the two rascals. Rinoa's eyes never left Squall's.

'_I wonder if I'll ever see you again'_

Rinoa prayed her mother wasn't lying when she promised to take her to see Squall again. Of course she wouldn't lie to her, her mother was her second bestest friend ever. Rinoa noticed Squall fidget as his figure became smaller and smaller through the backseat window.

'_And if that day comes  
I know we could win'_

Rinoa hoped the day would be soon. She had better prepare for that day. Rinoa was determined to be bigger, she'd show everyone that she was a strong girl; she'd be able to last until she saw him again. Rinoa swore she saw the speck that was Squall raise his arm to finally wave at her.

'_I wonder if I'll ever see you again'_


	2. I'll Be Missing You

I'll Be Missing You

Updated: 2009.11.04

Summary: AU Rinoa and Squall have seen some hardships in their lives. Those hardships are what made them the people they are today. Can the two overcome one more hurtle to get a happy ending? My pointless and potentially never ending story. Songs end every chapter, feel free to leave ideas for future chapters and future songs.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

* * *

I'll Be Missing You

Every step I take  
Every move I make  
Every single day  
Every time I pray  
Ill be missing you

Thinking of the day  
When you went away  
What a life to take  
What a bond to break  
Ill be missing you

-Puff Daddy, Faith Evans, 112

* * *

The speck that marked her friend in the backseat window finally vanished. Rinoa felt empty inside. Why did she have to lose her bestest friend? Would she ever have a new bestest friend? No, Rinoa was determined to never forget Squall.

Rinoa turned back to watch the buildings fly by as Julia drove her home. At least she still had her mommy. Julia would never leave her.

With that thought Rinoa moved to the right seat in the back so she could see Julia diagonally in the car.

Her mother noticed her movement and looked at her with a disapproving glance in the rearview mirror. "Rinoa, put on a seatbelt."

Rinoa quickly snapped the seatbelt in place and smiled up at her mother innocently. Julia's gorgeous black hair fell around her face as she concentrated on the road. Rinoa looked at her own hair, it was just as black but much shorter than her mothers. She decided she wanted to grow it out like Julia's. Rinoa looked up at the rearview mirror, well, Rinoa's hair wasn't quite as black, she had a brown streak running through hers.

Rinoa looked around, Deling looked so boring, grey sidewalks and black roads stretched in every direction. Small mom and pop stores dotted the roadside, all an ugly grey color. Rinoa fidgeted in her seat. Cars were flying by to try and make the light before it turned red. Julia chose to stop instead of step on it.

Soon many cars had stopped with their car and Rinoa choose to stare down the driver of the car on her right, there wasn't any on her left. The man was balding. He looked tired. Rinoa briefly wondered what he did. Was he a singer like her mommy? Or a general like her father? Rinoa didn't really know of any other occupations people could be. She studied the man. He didn't look like someone with a nice voice. He was probably a general like her father.

Rinoa looked behind her and felt the car start moving again, the light had turned green. She saw the driver behind hers begin to move forward, but instantly stop with a strange look on her face. She was looking off to Rinoa's right, which would be the leftside of the car. Rinoa turned just in time to feel Julia slam on the breaks as a beat up red sedan swerved to miss them.

Rinoa momentarily squinted her eyes at the reckless driver. Hey! You ran a red light! You're bad!

Her thoughts were cut short however as a sudden shock hit their car. Rinoa didn't remember what happened or why the shock occurred, nor did she know if the scream she heard came from herself, or Julia.

* * *

The little girl woke up in a strange place. Beige walls surrounded her, glaring white lights overhead. She found herself resting in a bed of sorts. It was much narrower than her bed at home. Not to mention there were high rails that were so cold to the touch.

Rinoa noticed she wasn't wearing her clothes anymore. In their place was a gown of sorts. It had teddy bears printed all over it. Rinoa decided it looked pretty. She noticed a wire sticking out of her arm. That wasn't pretty.

Her eyes followed the wire up to a bag filled with clear liquid. Water? Rinoa licked her dry lips and tilted her head trying to think of a way to get a drink. She gathered her legs underneath her to try standing on the bed to reach for the bag. When she tried to push herself up however she felt a sharp pain jolt through her leg and ended up falling back onto the bed.

Rinoa decided she couldn't get up. She couldn't get a drink. So she decided to look at the fancy machinery around her. One was beeping every so often. It had many squiggly lines on the screen. Rinoa tried to figure out what it meant.

The door opened as a man in white entered followed by some women in light blue. Rinoa thought the girl's clothes were pretty. The guy's was nice too but kind of boring.

The man walked over to her and helped her lie back in a resting position. "Hi, can you tell me your name?"

Rinoa glared at him. She wasn't supposed to talk to strangers.

The man frowned slightly before whispering something to one of the light blue clad women. She hurried out of the room.

Moments later the woman returned with another man in white. This one Rinoa recognized.

"Dr. Odine!"

The short man looked pleased that Rinoa recognized him.

"Hello, can you tell me your name?"

Rinoa looked at him confused.

"Dr. Odine? You know my name."

The man smiled.

"Of course I do, I was just wondering if you knew your name."

Rinoa was still confused but decided it must be a test. And she was determined to pass. How would she beat Squall next time they met if she couldn't pass her doctor's tests?

"Rinoa!" the little girl exclaimed in excitement. Would she get a reward for passing? That test was kind of easy.

Dr. Odine smiled again.

"Good, your father will be here shortly."

Rinoa nodded absentmindedly before her curiosity exploded.

"Dr. Odine, where am I?"

The man looked at her for a moment before realizing this was the first time she could remember ever being in a place like this.

"You're in a hospital."

Rinoa wasn't really sure what a hospital was but apparently that's what this boring place was called.

"Why?"

Her doctor sighed; apparently Rinoa didn't remember what happened.

"You were in a car accident."

Rinoa's brow furrowed as she tried to remember what happened to her. Car… Accident… Rinoa vaguely remembered leaving her bestest friend's house. And watching the bald man stare at the red light in front of him. And the lady, in the car behind her mother's, stare in shock at something to their side.

Then the floodgates opened. Rinoa remembered the shock. The scream.

The little girl's eyes shut briefly trying to block out the memory then opened wide as she remembered not knowing whose scream she was remembering.

"Where's mommy?"

"She's dead."

All eyes in the room turned to a tall man in full military dress uniform standing in the doorway. The doctors and nurses looked disapprovingly at the man, Rinoa looked on in horror at the man.

"Caraway!" The first man who had spoken to Rinoa exclaimed. "You didn't have to be so blunt! She's suffered a lot!"

The man stared the shorter doctor down. The doctor fidgeted and shrank back behind the even shorted Dr. Odine. "Don't you dare speak to me that way! There is no use in babying her. She'll find out sooner or later."

Rinoa was still in complete shock. Mommy? Dead? What did that mean? Was she coming back?

Caraway glanced over Rinoa's battered form before turning to Dr. Odine. "Use her."

Rinoa's doctor stared up at the man as if he was crazy. "Your own daughter? I thought we were going to do the experiments on a orphan."

Caraway glared down at the doctor, "I always intended to use Rinoa. Julia was against it but she isn't here anymore. Besides, Rinoa is cut up as it is. Should make it easier for you."

Dr. Odine stole a glance at Rinoa, the innocent child obviously didn't understand a thing her father said. She had no clue what her father had just committed her to. The doctor looked up at Carawary about to object until he saw the man's stern gaze silently informing him any backtalk would result in the loss of his medical license. Odine gulped then nodded, "As you wish General." The short man hurriedly left the room, unable to look Rinoa in the face.

It didn't matter though; Rinoa was still lost in thought. She could picture Julia smiling at her, comforting her whenever she was distressed. Then her thoughts turned to her father, frowning at her, disciplining her like his soldiers, yelling at her when she cried. Rinoa wanted her mommy back. Her mommy was her second bestest friend. Wait. What about her bestest friend? Her mommy promised to take her to see Squall.

Rinoa looked over at her father who was discussing something with one of the nurses. The only words he had even spoken to her since he arrived was to bluntly inform her that her mother was dead. He never tried to comfort her with the news, never tried to see if she was alright, never tried to embrace her. Not that Rinoa expected him to.

"Daddy!" Rinoa called out.

General Caraway turned towards her. Everyone expected to maybe see a softer side to the general. Boy were they wrong.

"Rinoa! What did I say about being in public? You are to refer to me as General Caraway!"

Rinoa shrank back into her hospital bed. She never liked being yelled at. Especially by her father's scary military voice.

"I'm sorry da… General Caraway. But, mommy said she'd take me to see Squall some time since they are moving away."

The general stared at her for a moment before replying, "Well I'm not your mommy."

Rinoa looked like she was going to cry. A nurse took pity on her and foolishly spoke up. "Oh, I could come and take your little girl to visit her friend sometime."

Rinoa looked at the young nurse with joy. She'd be able to see Squall again!

That hope didn't last long as the general's fury was redirected to the young nurse. "You will do no such thing! Playing is for the weak. My daughter will not be weak!"

Another nurse came to the defense of the first, "Oh come on General Caraway, even you must have had some sort of childhood. She just wants to see her friend."

"Bestest friend!" Rinoa corrected.

General Caraway wasn't going to cave in, especially to a female. "You!" He pointed at Rinoa, "'bestest' isn't a word. And you!" he pointed at the second nurse. "Don't you dare try telling me how to raise my daughter! My childhood is what made me weak, without it I would be much better off. I will not allow such a weakness to befall my daughter!"

The hospital staff decided to cut their losses and exit the room. Rinoa was stubborn though.

"'Bestest' is too a word! It's the best best friend!"

Caraway ignored his daughter and followed the hospital staff out. Rinoa jumped off the bed to follow, ignoring the stabbing pain in her legs that made her want to crumble into a ball. Maybe they would lead her to her mommy.

* * *

'_Every step I take'_

Rinoa stumbled forward on her shaky legs. It sure hurt to walk. She wondered if her mommy felt like this before she was 'dead'.

'_Every move I make'_

Rinoa winced as the stabbing pain caused her to fall to the ground. She let out a sharp shriek as she hit her head on the linoleum floor. The little girl ignored the pain; nothing could stop her from finding her mommy.

'_Every single day  
Every time I pray  
Ill be missing you'_

Rinoa got on her hands and knees, the pain was lessened and she began scampering on all fours in the direction Caraway and the hospital staff had gone. She had to find her mommy. Caraway couldn't be right. Her mommy would return to her.

'_Thinking of the day  
When you went away'_

Rinoa turned left down the hallway. Caraway's military boots clicked ahead of her on the polished floors. A doctor and nurse combo rushed in front of her pushing a stretcher. Rinoa wouldn't have been tall enough to see who was on it even if she were on her feet instead of hands and knees, she didn't understand why she stopped so suddenly and glanced fearfully to her left side. Almost as if expecting something to hit her.

'_What a life to take'_

Rinoa made it to the room Caraway had vanished in. On the hospital bed was her mother. Her eyes were closed, the machines next to her made a long continuous beeping sound. The screens showed flat lines. The little girl watched as the doctors pulled the sheet over her mother's face and begin to wheel the bed out of the room, detaching the machines as they went. Oh no! What are they doing to mommy? Where are they taking her?

'_What a bond to break'_

As the bed passed the little girl Julia's arm fell down the side of the bed. Her wedding ring slipped from her limp finger and clattered to the ground. The hospital staff and Caraway didn't notice as they followed the hospital bed out of the room. Rinoa looked at the ring. Her mother's ring. She picked it up. She hugged the ring close to her chest. It finally made sense. Her mommy was not coming back for her.

'_Ill be missing you'_


	3. Changes

Changes

Updated: 2009.11.08

Summary: AU Rinoa and Squall have seen some hardships in their lives. Those hardships are what made them the people they are today. Can the two overcome one more hurtle to get a happy ending? My pointless and potentially never ending story. Songs end every chapter, feel free to leave ideas for future chapters and future songs.

Warning: Contains somewhat disturbing ideas. You can skip this chapter if it's too disturbing, it's not that important. And no I don't think I'm crazy.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

Author Note: Any kind of review would be nice, good, bad, short, long, whatever. Course this might not be the best chapter to ask for reviews for just because it's… different.

* * *

Changes

Come on come on  
That's just the way it is  
Things'll never be the same  
That's just the way it is  
aww yeah

Things'll never be the same

-Tupac

* * *

_Year 1 Month 1 Day 1_

_I was startled. I never realized my employer wished to use his own daughter in these experiments. Now that I think back though, it makes some sense, why form the perfect female if it wasn't going to benefit some relation of yours? Still, I must admit I am not comfortable with this. I've been the little girl's primary physician since she was born 5 years 2 months and 7 days ago. I don't think I can bear to think of her as that innocent child anymore. I need to think of her differently. She's a test subject now. A codename will have to work. This will be hard. She looks so innocent, so pure. She is so innocent, so pure. She's only 5 years old for Hyne's sake! What in the hell is going through that man's head? Subjecting his own daughter to these tests. He knows they have never been used on a human being! He knows I'm not entirely confident in the subject's survival! Why would he want to use his own daughter? WHY?_

_It doesn't matter. If I don't follow his orders I'll be exiled from Galbadia. I have no choice. Please forgive me. This isn't good. I almost wrote her name there. This is far too personal for me. I need a codename and fast. I wonder if 'subject 01' will suffice. No, that would be far too impersonal; I must remember this is a little girl who trusted me with her life for the last 5 years. She was always such an energetic girl. Now, she'll be the least energetic being on the planet. She will be kept in a drugged sleep. I hope she never wakes up during my experimentation. One look from her large brown eyes will be my undoing. I'm sure of it._

_Well, codenames have been rolling off my head for the last 10 minutes. Nothing seems appropriate; they're all making me cry at what I am about to do. I wish I could think of a plain name. One that wouldn't associate her with the innocent girl I've grown to known. The innocent girl who trusted me with her life. The innocent girl who may pay for my mistakes with her life. Hyne, I pray I haven't made any calculation errors. But back on topic, names I've thought of so far have included, Innocence, Purity, Hope, and Bambi. Obviously I can't use those. I don't know what I'm going to do. My employer would be furious with me right now. Then again, when would he not be furious? But just look at me! I'm supposed to be the brightest mind in the civilized world and here I am arguing with myself over a name to call his daughter. Maybe I should just go with one of the names I've come up with already. Yes, I'll do that. So be it that it reminds me of the monstrous thing I'm about to do to the poor child. Hyne, let that be my punishment for my sins. I'll be tortured every time I inject her with something, every time I write a report about her progress, and if it should happen, I'll be tortured when I cause her heart to stop beating. Pure, innocent. She's an angel. Yes, that will be her codename. Angel._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 1 Day 2_

_Angel arrived at my labs today. They said they found her in her mother's hospital room. Clutching a wedding ring. I'll keep that in a safe place. If she survives, I'll be sure she receives it. Maybe she'll learn to forgive me someday._

_Luckily, she was already drugged when she was brought in. I stripped her of her clothing and made basic measurements. She's about normal for a 5 year old. 42 inches tall and 40 pounds. Her father was tall, mother was short, I guess it makes sense she's right at the 50__th__ percentile._

_It took me a long time to continue with the rest of what I was supposed to do today. She looked so peaceful, sleeping on the lab table. But I had to get it over with. I injected her with the first of the many serums I have to test with. Let me pray once more that I didn't make any mistakes._

_This first serum is a modified estrogen injection. Normally the hormone wouldn't be found in girls until they start puberty in another 5 years or so. In Angel, I'm expecting it to produce similar results to a girl going through puberty, despite the fact she's only 5 years old. This injection was slightly modified. If my calculations were correct, it shouldn't stunt her growth as much as normal. It's more of a body fat moving hormone now. I hope._

_I plan to inject her with this every day for the next month. Results should have shown by then._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 1 Day 15_

_My Hyne! The serum is definitely working! Angel's bust size has grown considerably. It is slightly disturbing to see I must admit though. A 5-year-old 3'6" girl with breasts larger than some super models. No matter, my employer will be interested in the success. Unfortunately, my serum didn't work perfectly. What I thought would consolidate most of her body fat in the breasts and hips, signs that she is fertile and perfect for child bearing (By Hyne I hope my employer doesn't expect me to actually test her child carrying abilities, she's only 5!) the serum unfortunately only moved the fat to her breasts. Well, they created breasts on her, as she didn't really have any yet._

_I measured her new bust. What used to be a 24" bust is now a 36" bust. And to think she's still only 42" tall. Her waist changed slightly from 22" to 19", probably due to the redistribution of her body fat. Her hips remained the same at 26". Her limbs have thinned out as well. I hope that's due to the serum and not malnutrition. I set her IV dosage based on her weight before the serum, now though she's gained a lot of weight, most likely her breasts. I should probably increase her diet._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 1 Day 16_

_I weighed her, she's now 48 pounds, still 42 inches tall. Her breasts were an amazing 12 pounds. I don't think that's healthy. In fact I know it isn't. I noticed this morning she was having problems breathing while lying on her back. I flipped her to lie on her stomach instead. That seems to have solved the problem. Apparently her large breasts were suffocating her._

_Interestingly however, that means she lost 4 pounds of body fat from elsewhere on her body. Most likely in the waist area to cause it to shrink 3 inches in circumference._

_I'll continue injecting her for another 15 days to finish what I started. I'm sure my employer will be especially pleased with these results. I am greatly pleased myself, especially since Angel seems to be adapting to the changes in her body fairly well._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 2 Day 1_

_Not much has changed since my last entry. Maybe if I had increased her modified estrogen injections something would have happened but I consulted my employer and he was satisfied with my results._

_One bright spot to note, I flipped Angel back on her back to find that she was breathing normally. Apparently her chest muscles have finally caught up to the change in her body distribution. I'm relieved to see that. It would be horrible if she were to suffocate herself someday in the future because she rolled onto her back in her sleep._

_This next experiment will be interesting as well. I'll be injecting a second estrogen serum into Angel. This one I hope will increase her hip size. She's quite disproportional at the moment. 36-19-26. I am assuming her waist will catch up with the rest of her, that's more just a matter of feeding her more than liquid-nutrients. Unfortunately that's impossible unless I wake her up and that's out of the question._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 3 Day 4_

_This serum doesn't seem to be working nearly as effectively as the last. Her hips have grown some. Unfortunately her waist and bust shrunk some. The hips didn't have nearly the kind of explosive growth that her bust did. She's now 34-18-28._

_I may have prematurely triggered her puberty. Three months ago she was almost exactly at the 50__th__ percentile, now she's closer to the 75__th__._

* * *

_Year 1 Month 4 Day 28_

_It's been a while and my employer is asking why I haven't moved on to the next experiment. I tried telling him that this serum was taking longer than the first for the results he wanted. He told me to forget about the serum and move on._

_All of Angel's measurements grew since almost 2 months ago. That makes me believe the serum is no longer having an affect. I wonder, can the girl become immune to my serums like bugs to bug spray? I don't like thinking of my serums as poison but in affect, they may accomplish the same end to this poor little girl. But I digress. She's now 36-19-30._

* * *

_Year 2 Month 2 Day 6_

_It's been so long since I've had anything worthy of reporting. My employer is quite angry. He stopped by yesterday to demand results. I showed him Angel and he was quite mad that nothing new had been developed for almost a year. I tried to explain that the last 6 serums resulted in just about nothing. I noted to him that his daughter was growing a lot faster than normal. He didn't seem to care that I had prematurely triggered puberty in the little girl. He was just mad that I wasn't absolutely controlling it. He wanted me to practically take a knife to her body, shaving away at her figure until it was 'perfect.' But when I asked him what 'perfect' was he merely grunted and stormed away._

_How am I supposed to please a man who doesn't even know what he wants?_

* * *

_Year 2 Month 7 Day 14_

_I realize my last entry didn't reveal anything important about Angel. She's been growing at an alarming rate for her age. I was right when I thought I had triggered puberty. Angel is now 52" tall and weighs 70 pounds. She's still 36-19-30. I had expected her waist to increase in size as she grew. Maybe that will come later. Either way, she's now at the 95__th__ percentile in height for girls 7 years old. She's not quite 7 yet but close enough. 70 pounds is the 95__th__ percentile for weight as well but if I subtract off her breast weight she'd only be 58 pounds which is closer to the 75__th__ percentile._

* * *

_Year 2 Month 8 Day 12_

_My employer came again today. He brought a Barbie doll with him. He told me that that plastic doll was 'perfect'. I think he's gone mad._

_I can't really tell what the doll's figure would be like if it was blown up to Angel's proportions, but my guess is I'm already pretty close._

_My employer keeps using the girl's name. I've been doing so well by using the codename to not think that the creature I'm injecting is an actual person. I told him of this. He thought I was crazy. I thought he was crazy when he told me to tattoo it onto her. When I asked why he merely shrugged and left, giving me another request, he wanted her hairless._

_I'm going to assume he didn't mean bald, but was rather referring to the pubic hair starting to grow._

* * *

_Year 4 Month 4 Day 8_

_It's been hectic, really hectic. My employer had my entire lab moved when some of Deling's finest raided it. I don't know why they came. I haven't seen the light of day in over 4 years, there's no way I could have incurred the police force's wrath. Either way. I applied what I believe is a hair loss solution to Angel. It was, difficult to say the least. She's 9 now. She has the body of a goddess. The solution required I rub it on her wherever hair removal was desired. That meant rubbing her vagina and between her butt cheeks in addition to the rest of her body. Despite her being asleep, she let out several moans. I think her early puberty has caused her to be sexually aroused easier._

_No matter, the solution has been applied, now to observe if it works._

_Oh yes, the tattoo my employer requested was written on her lower back. I'm glad now that I chose 'Angel' as opposed to 'Subject 01'. At least the word 'Angel' on the back of a girl wouldn't arouse too much suspicion._

* * *

_Year 4 Month 4 Day 9_

_My Hyne! It's my first major success since the first days of this torturous experiment! Everywhere the solution touched the hair fell out. I'll apply the solution again just to ensure I didn't miss anything. I hope this is permanent. I can't believe how many women will want this solution. Just think, no more razor blades, no more waxing! It's probably my first major breakthrough in my career!_

* * *

_Year 4 Month 4 Day 10_

_My Hyne! When I rubbed on more of the solution, especially near her vagina, I believe Angel had an orgasm. She was flailing about. That wasn't what really concerned me though. She woke up!_

_She immediately sat up and stared at me, at what I was doing to her. I'll never forget those large brown eyes staring at me. Fear evident. Betrayal evident. She recognized me, despite her long slumber. I will never be forgiven._

_Chaos ensued; she acted like a trapped animal, running all over the place. Eventually I was able to corner her and inject the tranquilizer into her system again. She twitched for a few minutes before falling back into her drugged state. I was able to place her back on the table and finish my work. Albeit, I was severely shaken from the experience._

* * *

_Year 4 Month 8 Day 9_

_It's been 4 months and her hair loss seems permanent. I reported this to my employer and it seemed to bring him some joy. Well, I think he might have smiled for a split second. He requested to see the subject. My Hyne, he doesn't even refer to her as his daughter anymore. He told me he wanted some surgical work done. I don't really understand why he wants it done. It doesn't seem very useful to me. When I brought up the sheer stupidity of his request he pointed to the Barbie doll on my desk that I was supposed to make her look like. He wanted her to have longer legs, a longer neck, and pointed feet._

_I guess this is just his idea of a perfect female. Whatever, I'll come up with solutions to achieve this for I am NOT going to cut her open._

* * *

_Year 5 Month 2 Day 27_

_It's done! Angel was injected with my two solutions. I pray this works. One solution is supposed to adjust her muscle structure at her ankle, it should make it more natural for her feet to remain pointed. The other one should elongate the body part injected, those being her calves, thighs, and neck. I'm hoping for results to be prevalent within a month tops. My employer told me yesterday that this would be the last experiment necessary. I am thankful; it looks like she survived. I won't be responsible for taking a life, maybe for messing up one, but not taking one._

* * *

_Year 5 Month 3 Day 17_

_My employer will be picking her up someday soon, I don't really have anything to test anymore so I hooked up a brain scan as I've grown interested in what she has been occupying herself with for the last 5 years while she slept. To my horror it showed extreme brain activity, I was expecting something similar to a peaceful sleep as that what she appeared to be having before the brain scan. However, the amount of brain activity I saw would suggest a nightmare. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be trapped within your own nightmare for over 5 years._

* * *

_Year 5 Month 4 Day 1_

_My employer came to pick up his daughter. I feel it's my duty to compile a quick summary of all the changes she has gone through. She came in to my lab as a 5 years 2 months and 7 days old girl of height 42 and weight 40. Her measurements were typical for a girl of her size 24-22-26. She leaves here as a 10 years 6 months and 7 days old girl of height 63 and weight 96. Her measurements are now 36-20-30. Her legs have grown to an impressive 34" inseam for her short stature. I suppose her neck is longer than average, and her feet have remained pointed since the initial injection. I only pray she will be able to adapt to the changes made to her body and that no ill side effects befall her._

_I bought a chain and looped the ring she had been clutching 5 years ago when she first arrived in my lab. I placed it around her neck. It was the only article she wore as her father took her unconscious body out of the lab._

* * *

'_Come on come on'_

The girl woke up to the familiar surroundings of her bedroom. Despite the familiarity, it looked different. Well, not different, her perspective was just different. She looked down to see two large mounds under her bed sheets where her chest was. Looking farther down she noticed her feet didn't stick up like they should have.

'_That's just the way it is'_

The girl uncovered herself to find herself naked. The two large mounds on her chest remained. They were a part of her. She poked them. They were squishy. She noticed that they prohibited her arm movement somewhat; they were wider than her chest and sort of rested on her arms while she lied on her back.

'_Things'll never be the same'_

The girl sat up to get out of bed. She placed her toes on the floor and stood up, everything looked so much smaller than she remembered. She tiptoed over to her room mirror. She didn't recognize the girl in the reflection, a long neck, large breasts, tiny waist, slender arms and legs. She noticed she was wearing a silver chain with a silver ring looped, just like the girl in the mirror. The girl moved her body parts around. It was indeed herself in the mirror. What happened to her?

'_That's just the way it is_'

The girl noticed her reflection was standing on her toes. She tried to lower herself to her heels, oddly, she couldn't remember how to do that. Her calves were getting tired of the strain. A few more moments of failed attempts resulted with her legs giving out.

'_aww yeah'_

The girl felt a tear slide down her face. She rolled to her back and looked down. Her feet were still pointed. She turned to her right; her Barbie doll lied there. It was lying on its back too. The girl realized she looked strikingly similar to her Barbie doll.

'_Things'll never be the same'_


	4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Updated: 2009.11.10

Summary: AU Rinoa and Squall have seen some hardships in their lives. Those hardships are what made them the people they are today. Can the two overcome one more hurtle to get a happy ending? My pointless and potentially never ending story. Songs end every chapter, feel free to leave ideas for future chapters and future songs.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

* * *

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

-Green Day

* * *

He was here again. The boy looked around at the white walls of the hospital. His father had entered the room down the hall. He could hear his mother screaming. He didn't know why they kept coming here if she was always screaming. Kept cursing. Kept blaming someone for 'doing this to her again.' Whatever.

The brown-haired boy looked down at his feet. Two girls sat playing together. Oblivious to the screams. Oblivious to the white walls. Oblivious that neither parent was there for them now. The boy frowned. Neither one was any fun to play with.

They were his sisters. Ashley and Brittney. They were twins. They were irritating.

They used to cry endlessly. Now they shrieked endlessly. Was Rinoa like that when they were that young? He looked down upon his two 4-year-old sisters. Hyne damn they were annoying. Laguna had told him not to curse. It was hard when he had to sit through two of these sessions in the hospital. It was even harder because the two culprits in front of him were the cause of his sleep deprivation.

A scream came. Again. When could he go home? He didn't need more annoying sisters.

Squall sat in the chair Laguna had left him in. He was 12 years old now. He was a big boy. He could take care of himself. Squall didn't mind being alone. He had learned to cope. Ever since moving he had learned that human contact wasn't really that important. Nobody tried to talk to him at his new school. Nobody tried to befriend him like Rinoa did. Hyne he wished he could go back to being 6. Back then life was simple, back then he wasn't concerned with what others thought of him. Back then he enjoyed life.

Another piercing scream echoed through the empty halls of the hospital.

Squall was bored. He thought back to Rinoa. His one and only friend. Squall admitted she was his best friend. He never forgot her but he did find it somewhat irritating that she apparently forgot him. She was supposed to come visit. That was 6 years ago. Squall remembered his mother even taking the matter into her own hands after a year of silence.

**Flashback**

"_Squall, I'll call them. I'm sure Julia probably just forgot. Your friend will be here before you know it!" Raine cheerfully stated._

_Squall just sulked in his seat. The family had moved to Balamb. Some stupid island in the middle of the ocean with nothing more than a single school. Squall hated everything about Balamb. The air was always humid. The streets were always wet. The sun was always too bright. The clouds were always too dark. Most of all, he had no one to play with. Squall was horrible at making friends._

_Raine ignored her child's sulking attitude. She practically skipped to the phone, obviously eager to talk to her friend again._

_Raine dialed. Squall sulked._

"_Hello Mr. Caraway! Is Julia there?"_

_Squall's head perked up. She was actually calling this time._

"_She isn't there? Oh, okay, well is Rinoa there? My son would like to speak to her."_

_Squall stood up and walked over to the phone. At least he'd be able to speak to his only friend._

"_Excuse me?"_

_Squall looked up at Raine, she seemed to have been offended._

"_What do you mean 'good for nothing'? They're children! They need to have fun!"_

_Squall knew something wasn't going right. His mother never yelled._

"_I hope you burn in hell!"_

_Squall was startled. Something really bad must have happened. Raine yelling was a rare occurrence. Raine swearing was unheard of._

_Raine slammed the phone down and turned to where Squall had been sulking only to find him not there. She was about to look for him when she felt a tug on her pants. She looked down to see Squall almost in tears. Raine immediately bent down to comfort her child._

"_I'm sorry Squall, I'm not sure if you'll be able to see Rinoa again." Silently Raine thought to herself, 'And I'll never see Julia again.'_

**End Flashback**

Squall didn't really understand what happened that day. He just knew what his mother told him. He would never see Rinoa again.

Squall thought back to his happier times. Playing tag. Playing pranks. He hadn't done either since he had moved. Hadn't done anything fun for that matter in the last 7 years of his life. It was like he was at a stalemate in his life. He couldn't move and forget her, but he couldn't find a way to find her again either. Something big would have to happen for him to forget her. Something devastating.

Another piercing scream emitted from the room before a crying sound was heard. Something had changed. Squall got up off his chair to investigate. He glanced back at his two sisters. They wouldn't get lost. Not that he cared. He headed towards the door Laguna had vanished through down the hall. At least it was something to do.

Inside he saw his mother holding a baby. The baby was small, Squall couldn't believe he was ever that small. Then again he couldn't remember that far back. This was the first baby he had actually seen himself. Squall noticed that the baby's eyes were shut tight and it's small hands were grasping onto Raine's thumb. He had to admit it looked like a picture out of a storybook.

When Raine noticed Squall was with them, she lowered the baby so Squall could get a better look.

"Squall, say hello to your new baby sister. Ellone."

* * *

**Two years later.**

"Squwa! Squwa!"

Squall looked down at his annoying sister. The runt still couldn't pronounce his name right.

"Pone for you!"

Squall frowned. Just because he didn't have any friends to hang out with didn't mean he wanted to be stuck babysitting Ellone while his parents went out to company dinner parties. He had better things to do. Like study. Laguna was always telling him how important an education was to getting a high paying job to be able to afford the type of lifestyle he might want. Squall took it to heart. Since he didn't have to worry about the stupid notion of friendships, he buried himself in his homework. He was the top student in his class and had been ever since entering the school.

He glanced down the hall, neither Ashley nor Brittney were around. They always fought over answering the phone. Ellone seemed to have an affinity for him though. Maybe it was because Ashley and Brittney had each other. They never let Ellone play with them. So the 2-year-old would seek Squall to play with. He normally gave in. It was hard to turn down pouting eyes. At least, as long as they didn't come attached to a loudspeaker for a mouth like Ashley and Brittney's did.

Squall put his pencil down and trudged over to the phone. This better be quick. He had to study for the test coming up in a couple weeks.

"Hello?"

"Is this Squall Loire?" A man's voice came over the phone. Squall didn't recognize it as anyone he knew. Then again he didn't really know anyone.

"Yea, who's this?" Squall mumbled.

"This is the Balamb Hospital. We regret to inform you that your parents were in an accident earlier. Neither one survived the accident."

Squall blinked. "What?"

"Your parents are dead son."

Squall blinked again. "What do I do?" He was surprisingly calm.

"How old are you son?"

Squall didn't like the man calling him 'son' all the time. "14."

"Alright, I'll send a city professional to your house, his name is Craig Stevens. He'll help you get everything sorted out. I'm very sorry for your loss son." There was a pause on the other end. "If there's anything you need call 414-5029, it's my personal line, I'll do anything I can to help you. My name is Brett Bradford."

"Okay." Squall replied after he had recorded the names and number onto a sheet of paper. "Bye." Squall hung up.

So Raine and Laguna were dead? What would that mean now? What would that mean for him? What would it mean for his sisters? Squall looked down at Ellone. What would that mean for her?

Ellone was busy coloring in a coloring book. She wasn't coloring within any sort of lines, just in the book. Squall was relieved that she would be too young to understand what had happened. She might not even remember who their parents were. What they looked like. How much they cared.

Squall decided to stop thinking such sad thoughts, he didn't want to cry. He had to be strong now. He had to be strong for more than just himself. He had to be strong for his sisters. He had to be strong for Ellone.

Squall sighed. What was he to do now?

* * *

'_I walk a lonely road'_

Squall exited the house. The setting sun gave a sorrowful color to the atmosphere. Squall glanced to the garage. It had only been hours since a car stood there and a happy couple entered the car telling him to be careful. They were the ones who should have been careful.

'_The only one that I have ever known'_

Squall trudged on. He would walk towards school searching for a job. At least he wouldn't get lost. Before he turned the corner he glanced back at his house. He knew his existence had changed dramatically from a single phone call.

'_Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone'_

Squall carried on around the corner. A pizza shop, a barber shop, a dentist office. It made no difference; he applied to them all. If only one of them would work with his school schedule. If only one of them would work with his new duty to his sisters. If only one of them would work with him to take care of Ellone. If only one of them would hire him.

'_I walk this empty street'_

Squall exited the dentist office. Nobody had been in but he had slipped an application under the door. Maybe something good will come of it. He turned to the main boulevard.

'_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams'_

It was the boulevard his parents had driven down when they first arrived in Balamb. Squall remembered being amazed at the ocean being so close. He remembered being excited, to think he could play hide'n'seek there with Rinoa when she came over. He remembered his father's joy of his new job just off a side street. He remembered his mother's joy as they drove down to the hospital to bring Ellone and his sisters into the world. He would later learn this was also the boulevard where a drunk driver hit his parents.

'_Where the city sleeps'_

It was getting dark. Squall didn't want to be here anymore. He needed to get back to Ellone and the others. They might be crying for dinner already. He couldn't fail them now. He would have to become an adult. A parent. He would become a single parent, a single parent of three, all at the age of 14.

'_and I'm the only one and I walk alone'_


	5. Lucky

Lucky

Updated: 2009.11.13

Summary: AU Rinoa and Squall have seen some hardships in their lives. Those hardships are what made them the people they are today. Can the two overcome one more hurtle to get a happy ending? My pointless and potentially never ending story. Songs end every chapter, feel free to leave ideas for future chapters and future songs.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

Author Note: I didn't really like the first half of this one, too much explaining, not enough dialogue, oh well. It's just due to the large amount of time that elapses between chapter 3 and this one.

* * *

Lucky

She's so lucky, she's a star  
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking  
If there's nothing missing in my life  
Then why do these tears come at night

-Britney Spears

* * *

Rinoa waved at the audience. Crowd more like it. Mob even. Rinoa was glad to be safe on the stage. Below her were about a hundred thousand crazy fans jostling each other to get closer to the stage. The fire department deemed it only safe to cram thirty thousand souls in this room. The ticket booth didn't care though.

Rinoa was dressed in a shimmering light blue dress. It hugged her curvy body only too well. Her light blue high-heels, earrings and bracelets really left no room for anyone to not know who was on stage.

She had made it big. Her insanely high voice was on every radio station. People sometimes commented that she sounded as if she were still 11. She was in more ways than one. Rinoa remembered the day she woke up to find her world completely different. Her body was different. Her father treated her different. Her doctor treated her different. The boys treated her different.

There wasn't really anything wrong with being different. Being treated different. It was just Rinoa couldn't remember how she became different. Her next earliest memory was clasping her mother's wedding ring to her chest as she was wheeled out of the hospital. She didn't remember the funeral. She didn't remember what her father told her were the five years of her life after her mother died.

Upon waking up her father insisted she was to attend school. Rinoa didn't even know what school was. But Caraway placed her in a 5th grade class. He claimed they were her age. The teachers were doubtful. Rinoa was doubtful.

The other 10-year-olds looked nothing like her. They were all flat-chested. They were all shorter. Her teachers and other parents all said she looked more mature; she looked older. Surprisingly her voice sounded younger.

The other 10-year-olds thought nothing like her. They all knew this weird thing called _math_. And how to _read_ those story books her mother used to read her. They could also make these weird markings that sort of resembled the books. Rinoa was clueless. The teachers recommended that Caraway hold her back. Put her back in first grade. That was where her intelligence lay. The man refused. He punished her for every failed assignment. And oh were there a lot of those.

Rinoa did find that she learned pretty quickly though. Her mind was like a blank slate. Things just kind of stuck there. Unfortunately most of the things she learned came too late, she had already failed the assignment, already been beaten for her failure by Caraway. She learned how to behave like a 10-year-old. She spent most of her time mimicking the other kids. What came naturally to them, like conversing, holding themselves upright, running around playing sports, and drooling over these things they called 'celebrities' had to be learned for Rinoa. Eventually she got the hang of it. Well everything except the sports one, She couldn't figure out why she couldn't run well. She would be doomed to fail every PE test possible. Luckily Caraway didn't seem to care that she wasn't 'physically fit'.

She got the hang of conversing so well that one night, when Caraway dressed her in an elegant evening gown and dragged her to one of his social meetings, a guy approached her and started talking to her. Rinoa was intrigued. She was slightly scared of talking to a stranger but he wasn't a complete stranger. She had seen him on one of the pictures the other girls were drooling over at school. He was a 'celebrity'.

The man asked her if she liked movies. Rinoa wasn't sure what those were but decided to say yes. She said yes to some other things that she didn't know what they meant like 'date', 'go out', and 'legal'.

Either way, Rinoa found herself dating a 25-year-old actor. She was 10-years-old.

Rinoa wouldn't understand what was going on until much later. She had been a 10-year-old girl in a 20-year-old body with the intelligence and life experiences of a 5-year-old.

Rinoa was simply thankful that she still thought kissing was a no-no. She'd hate to think what the guy would have done to her if she hadn't shied away from something as simple as kissing.

Rinoa was brought out of her reminiscing as the curtains closed. She was thankful; it had been a long night. She still had an essay to write on something about Guardian Forces. She hated the topic. She preferred to write romances about Knights and Sorceresses.

Rinoa hurried off the stage. The walls were covered with advertisements; most notified those who passed, which was mostly just Rinoa and her stage crew, that a new CD of hers was on sale. Not that they needed to advertise. Her CDs took up entire walls at the music stores. That and word of mouth was crazy, she had barely started writing and recording songs for her next CD and there was already people lining up at various CD outlets ready to buy it. The CD wouldn't come out for months!

Rinoa thought back to her music career. It had been a strange start. Really it all happened because Caraway chose to lock her in Julia's music room while she regained consciousness after every beating. Rinoa would wake up, sore, sometimes bleeding. She would have nothing to do but stare at the piano, Julia's piano, and Julia's sheet music. It was Rinoa's greatest achievement. She self-taught herself how to read and play those pieces of Julia's. Soon she was modifying them. By the physical age of 14 she began singing along with her newly written music. At the physical age of 15 a recording studio noticed her potential at a school recital and recorded her first album. It was a hit. They immediately set up concerts for her to sing at. That was an even bigger hit. Now that Rinoa looked back. She wasn't sure if the potential they had seen was her voice, her song writing, or her body. They sure liked her in photo shoots.

Caraway didn't give a damn what she did with her life. All he wanted was to have the 'perfect female' accompany him to all of his important military parties. Rinoa hated them.

Rinoa finally reached her dressing room. She dropped her dress and slipped into another. Also light blue. Everyone knew light blue was her favorite color. Every performance she gave she wore a new light blue dress. They new that just as well as they knew that she always wore high-heels, even in her own house, her own room. Nobody ever saw her barefoot. It wasn't that noticeable until she wore them to the beach, that was the only time she went to the beach.

Rinoa exited to head to the after party. She frowned. She hated these after parties. She hated people clamoring for autographs. She just wanted to sing. To let the world know what was on her mind.

Rinoa succeeded in this very well. Her first album was filled with songs of a lost friend. She dedicated it to someone named Squall. Her second album was a compilation of all of Julia's unrecorded ones. The third was filled with songs Rinoa wrote about a lost parent. She dedicated both the 2nd and 3rd to her mother. Most people didn't understand the first dedication, everyone understood the second and third. The rest of her albums weren't dedicated to anybody. But they all contained the sad theme of loss.

"Rinny!"

Rinoa looked up to see the only other under aged person at the party, her best friend, Selphie Tilmit. She forced a smile to her face. It wasn't easy with all the obnoxious drunk people.

"That was an awesome concert! Thanks a bunch for getting me tickets!"

Rinoa's smile became a real smile. Selphie always brightened her day. Kind of like how Squall did, well, when she was with Squall she never had a dull day. "I'm glad you liked it Selphie."

"Liked it? I loved it! I can't believe I haven't been to one of your concerts before! My mom was actually worried I'd get trampled tonight." Selphie grabbed Rinoa's hand and dragged her to a booth away from the dance floor. "Your bouncer wasn't going to let me in though. He kept saying I was under aged."

Rinoa laughed, "You are. These after parties are supposed to be for adults only."

Selphie giggled. "Then why are you here? You're only 16 like me!"

Rinoa laughed again, "Yea, I shouldn't be here but I think the rest of them would be angry if I didn't show up."

Selphie glanced around the room. Many sweaty people danced away to Rinoa's voice. Selphie smiled when she caught sight of a group of guys looking their direction. "Hey Rinny! Looks like some guys are checking us out! Or rather you."

Rinoa looked up and groaned. Not again. Every after party she was always hit on. Normally she wouldn't mind it too much, but these guys were drunk, slurring, and disgusting. Not to mention they were the type that would stalk her to no end.

Rinoa was used to being hit on. Ever since she woke up with the body of a Barbie doll at the age of 10, at least her father told her she was 10, guys had been hitting on her. At first she was enraptured by all the attention. Why would a 25-year-old celebrity want anything to do with a 10-year-old? It didn't occur to her that he didn't know, and probably didn't care, that she was only 10. Now that Rinoa was older she realized it was kind of sickening.

Despite her first experience dating to be a complete let down, Rinoa hadn't been 'dateless' ever since waking up. Whether it was a 25-year-old celebrity, a 20-year-old Lieutenant, or every guy in her school, Rinoa always had a date. Many of the girls called her a slut due to the number of guys she had dated, and the sheer speed at which she dumped them. Everyone except Selphie, she knew Rinoa was just really bad at rejecting people. Every one ended when the guy tried to get something she didn't want to give, whether it was a kiss or something more, it was always where Rinoa dumped them. It usually took less than a week to reach that point. Her shortest record was a mere 5 minutes before her 'boyfriend' tried to get in her pants; the longest was a month, the 25-year-old celebrity.

"Rinny, want a drink?" Selphie got up; she was tired of watching everyone steal glances at Rinoa in her sexy blue dress. She didn't get why Rinoa wore those things if she hated the attention. Then again, Rinoa would probably still get the attention no matter what. Selphie frowned; she wasn't as well endowed as Rinoa was, at least not yet.

Rinoa looked up, she had been trapped deep within her own thoughts. "Oh, okay." Rinoa smiled up at her friend who turned to go get the drinks. Rinoa called out after her friend, "Nothing alcoholic!"

Selphie grinned and turned back to Rinoa briefly, "Of course! We all know you're a good little Angel!" Selphie took off to the drink table after that comment.

Rinoa frowned. She hadn't wanted to be called 'Angel'. Just like she didn't want to be called 'Princess'. They just tended to be names given to girls Rinoa assumed. Well, that and people noticed she had the word 'Angel' tattooed on her lower back. Rinoa didn't have a clue how that got there.

Selphie returned with two sodas. Both diet. Selphie was on a diet. She was in her boy-crazy phase. Rinoa didn't care about her figure. She didn't have to either. No matter how much she ate or how little exercise she did, she mysteriously never gained an inch, nor a pound. Selphie was secretly quite jealous.

It wasn't like Rinoa wasn't trying; she was actually trying to gain weight. Everyone told her she was severely underweight but didn't look like it just because she was narrower than the normal person. Rinoa's attempts were futile though.

The two girls sipped on their drinks in silence. Rinoa was only halfway done with her drink before the crowds of people realized where the star of the show was. The crowds came and Rinoa's peaceful night with her best friend vanished.

* * *

"Rinoa! Get over here!"

Rinoa glanced up. What did her 'boyfriend' want now? So what if he was the football captain? That didn't make him any better than any of the other losers she had dated.

She wearily got up. It had been a long day at school. Her teachers were constantly hounding her. Her grades were in the gutter. They had never been good to begin with but as it stood now, she was probably going to have to dedicate a song to each of them in order to pass their classes.

"What do you want?"

"Don't talk shit to me!" Her 'boyfriend's' angry voice came from his bedroom.

Rinoa was studying with her 'boyfriend'. Well, Rinoa planned on studying. Her 'boyfriend' seemed to have other plans. Plans that Rinoa was certain she'd never give him. They had only been going out for a week. She didn't feel anything for him. He probably just wanted the publicity of dating her. Or the money that could be attained by marrying her. She was after all the General's daughter. That and the most famous singer in the world.

Rinoa groaned. He's in the bedroom. This can only mean one thing. She took out her phone and got a phone number ready to send. She'd be ready. It wouldn't be the first time she was almost raped by her 'boyfriend'.

Rinoa thought a little bit, it was just last month when that boyfriend had dragged her by her hair into the bathroom. Luckily Rinoa had been able to knock him out with the plunger. It was now 4 boyfriends since that last one who had tried to rape her. Rinoa shook her head, it was sad that she couldn't even remember all their names, only the ones that physically harmed her. The one she knocked out with the plunger was named Seifer for instance. She briefly wondered where Seifer was now. She had heard he moved after the incident. Good riddance. Rinoa never wanted to see that creep again.

Rinoa stuck her head in the bedroom. It didn't surprise her any when her 'boyfriend' didn't have any studying materials with him. Nor that he was currently lying in bed.

"What?"

"You've been studying for a while on the dining table. Why don't you help me study some for my anatomy test?"

Rinoa frowned. He wasn't in anatomy.

"And how exactly would I be helping you do that?" Rinoa's thumb hovered over the send button on her phone behind her back.

Her 'boyfriend' got out of the bed and walked towards her. "Well I was thinking of a little hands on studying!" He reached out and grabbed Rinoa's hair. She cursed herself for having long hair. She quickly pressed the 'Call' button on her phone before she was pulled roughly into the room and thrown on the bed. She was glad she had told Selphie where she would be that afternoon. She just hoped she picked up her distress call before it got to her answering machine.

Rinoa was slightly dazed after landing on the bed. She had bumped her head against the headrest. Her 'boyfriend' advanced towards her. Rinoa cursed her inability to move. It wasn't like this hadn't happened before. Whenever a 'boyfriend' invites her over to their house for some reason or other. They expect sex, or at least a make-out session. Rinoa wasn't sure which one this 'boyfriend' wanted but was damned sure she wasn't going to give him either.

Her 'boyfriend' climbed onto the bed on top of her and reached for her breasts. Rinoa frowned, Why do they always go for the breasts? Oh well. Rinoa was more experienced at escaping rape situations than just about every teenage girl. She knew a much better place to go for. And she went for it.

Rinoa's heeled foot kicked up into his crotch. For once she was glad she wore heels everywhere. It gave her an extra weapon to use in these situations. Of course the real reason she wore them was due to the fact that she couldn't bend her feet back to a normal position, the heels offered at least some support for her eternally pointed feet. The heels also had to be extremely high though. Her 'boyfriends' loved it; the high-heels hindered her ability to walk. Now that Rinoa thought about it, that was actually a good reason for her to always have a boyfriend, she could use them as a crutch.

Her 'boyfriend' fell off of her clutching his crotch. Rinoa smirked as she rolled off the other side of the bed. She made her way out of the room calmly as her 'boyfriend' continued to roll around in agony.

* * *

When the police arrived they found Rinoa sitting in a chair in the living room, legs crossed, calmly waiting.

"Happen again?"

Rinoa nodded. The policeman shook his head.

"You ever thought of screening your potential boyfriends? Maybe run background checks?"

Rinoa shrugged. "What would that turn up? That they hit their little brother 5 years ago? I doubt every boy at Deling High has a history of forcing their girlfriends. Especially in the first week."

It was the policeman's turn to shrug. "Well this is like the 100th call from you we've had in about 100 weeks. Ever tried just laying low? We can't even interrogate them quick enough anymore."

Rinoa shrugged. "Whatever Zone."

Zone shrugged again and headed upstairs to apprehend her now ex-boyfriend.

Another policeman entered. "Hey Rinoa, you alright?"

"Yea, thanks Watts."

Watts shrugged. "Can't let a celebrity of your status get killed or nothing. Just think of the turmoil that'd cause society."

Rinoa frowned. Was that the only reason why they came to her rescue week in and week out? Because she was famous?

Watts shrugged again, "Oh yea, Rinoa, can you sign this?" He held up her latest CD. "We were listening to it when your call came in. It's supposed to be a gift for my girlfriend's birthday but Zone wouldn't stop bugging me to open it already. If you signed it then I'd have a good excuse for it already being open."

Rinoa laughed. "Give it to me. And a pen." She quickly scribbled her name onto the CD with the short message of 'Happy Birthday! Be nice to Watts.' She handed it back to Watts who smiled at the message.

"Thanks Rinoa! You're the best. You're not stuck up like that other celebrity… forgot his name, but he's the one you dated a few years ago."

Rinoa frowned. "Derek."

"Oh yea, Derek. Stupid actor. Why'd you date him anyway? He was like 15 years older than you."

Rinoa shrugged, "I was stupid back then." Rinoa paused, that was the understatement of the year. Back then she was a 5-year-old mind in a 10-year-old body that looked like she could be 20. She shook the thought away, her mental age had finally caught up to her actual age, and if they were liberal, then the age she appeared could also fit. "It doesn't matter, he's in prison now."

Watts nodded, "Well, we all make mistakes I guess. You need a ride home again?"

Rinoa nodded.

Watts laughed, "Come on, you can ride up front in my car. Zone can sit in the back with your boyfriend."

"Ex." Rinoa corrected as she followed Watts out of the house.

* * *

'_She's so lucky, she's a star'_

Rinoa looked out of the squad car. The night flashed blue and red as the squad car raced across town to the police station where they dropped off Zone and her ex-boyfriend. Then it was off to the Caraway Mansion. Everyone who thought her life was perfect and filled with comfort were delusional. The red and blue lights played off of Rinoa's pretty face through the squad car.

'_But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking'_

Rinoa looked back at the diminishing station where her ex-boyfriend would be kept for the night at least. She never felt anything for him. He was just the next guy that asked if she'd give him a chance. Begged more like it. She accepted like every other guy who happened to beg her to go out with them when she was single. She was never single for more than a day, it was more of a luck thing whether or not she was available. And now look where she was? Riding home in another cop car with her now ex-boyfriend cooling off in a jail cell like the last 100 or so.

'_If there's nothing missing in my life'_

Rinoa looked up to the stars. When will I find someone that loves me? Or were they all taken from me that one fateful day? Images of a boy waving to her as she was driven away with her mother filled her mind. Then images of her mother's ring falling to the ground.

'_Then why do these tears come at night'_


End file.
